Things have gotten so bad since my breakup. Ok- that isn’t entirely true, I have discovered a sense of wellbeing and focus that I had lost, I have found calm and whitespace, unsubscribed from drama and uncovered a wonderful woman in myself. The intangible manners of life are glowing, growing and are settling into a place of elegant simplicity.
In the sense of things becoming bad, I’m referring to the tangible aspects, the physical sludge that comes from restarting.
I’m broke. There are no two ways about it- it’s a fact. My bank acount is empty and I am behind in bills. I need to put food on the table and I’m wondering how I am going to do that for the next week and a half. My car needs a service and I am living in a house resembling a sandpit. My daughter has lunch for today, but tomorrow I don’t know what I am going to do.
What does one do when they find themselves in this situation? I don’t know, so I sat outside with coffee and embraced the stillness. I asked for assistance, for help with a plan, and for reassurance.
Make a list of everything you are grateful for, then go for a walk to the library.
A voice from nowhere told me to make a list, and then walk to the library. So I did. I didn’t ask why or question, I just did.
I began to write, and write and write. I filled pages and pages of things I am grateful for.
- I have a car that needs a service- I am grateful that I have a car.
- I have a home that is full of sand- I am grateful I have a home.
- I am grateful for the three meals I have available today.
- I am grateful for clean and fresh clothes.
- I am grateful for the inspired messages and assistance I am receiving from unexpected places.
- I am grateful for my ability to write, to think, to plan.
- I am grateful for my jacket, and the ability to sit outside in safety and calm.
The list went on. And on. And on, for seven more pages.
I made it to the library, and pulled out a book from the shelves, a coffee table book of elegant home interiors- and another book that had been put back in the wrong spot physically slammed into my body. If there ever was a sign….
The Dale Carnegie book “How to Stop Worring and Start Living” found me.
I read it cover to cover in two days.
The two ideas that stuck out at me were the following:
- Day-tight compartments.
Do your best today, leave tomorrow to be what it may, and yesterday is done. By all means plan ahead, but focus on doing your best today with the tools, information and resources you have available today.
- The prayer “Give us today our daily bread”.
He goes on to explain not the religious connotations (I don’t have any religious affiliation, but do believe in the workings of the universe), but the pratical meaning behind it.
Give us today our daily bread- meaning the bread of today, not worrying about whether the bakery wil be out of bread tomorrow, or next month if the harvest fails, of whether in six months there will be a wheat blight- but today. Place your concerns of today, and let tomorrow be as it should.
Currently things aren’t great. But I can make the most of the resources I have available to me now.
I’ve spoken to my health insurance provider and they have assisted me with a plan, I have spoken to AnglicareWA, and made an appointment to work out bills and income (or lack of), and create a solution, I have paid what I can to who I can, and I have enough for dinner tonight.
It was hard. Facing the emotional trauma of a breakup is tough, and this is just the gravy smothering the entire plate. It’s been suffocating. But I know that with a plan, with help (and with admitting that I need help right now), with time, with focusing on today, and with trusting, that within a short space of time things will improve exponentially and I’ll be back on my feet.
I asked for help, and the universe listened and provided. I discovered this book, I found resources that I didn’t know existed, and I followed nudges along the way.